After some years of pursuing art, music, writing, and other creative hobbies, I always find myself never capable of finishing a project the way I wanted to. If I do complete something, like a drawing for example, it’s just me losing interest and finally deciding to work on something else, when I still feel I could add a little shading here and some detail there, but it ends up taking too long and I start doubting it’ll turn out the way it should.
If I had to guess, the three things always stopping me from completing anything is time, procrastination, and self doubt. I just don’t have enough hours to get every detail polished, and by the time I’ve put in so much work, I feel that I’m taking too long and I find interest in something else, so I set my current work aside for later. I’ve done this with songs, drawings, and lots of other creative projects.
That’s been my dilemma for some time, and it’s something I still struggle with. Either with writing, drawing, building, or anything else that requires planning and creating. Whatever I do never gives me the sense of fulfillment as it was projected and thought out in my head. I think one of the main reasons for this is being self critical. If something doesn’t go perfectly the way I wanted it to, I think I feel a little sense of failure, and though I know failure in any creative pursuit helps someone grow, it still makes me feel I didn’t do my best. At least that’s my perception most of the time.
I’m not sure if there’s a fix for being less critical other than shifting my perception and being more realistic of what’s considered finished, accomplished, and achieved. I think I strive for perfectness, and anything I envision is always held to the highest standard. Is this good or bad? I honestly don’t know, but I do know the moment I become too self critical and doubt what’s possible- is the moment I drop the ball. Almost like whatever I’m working on is abandoned and left aside as a reminder to try harder next time.
I hope to practice being less critical with my blog, and try to consistently write without being too judgmental on myself. My aim is write thoughtful, interesting, and inquisitive content that pokes the reader’s mind with curiosity, desire, knowledge, and fulfillment. I want my blog to help people find inspiration, discover new knowledge, and most importantly have fun learning something new. Without straying too far from topic, I’ve decided that I’ll try to write my best on a daily basis and not let my own critic decide that a post isn’t good enough to publish. Otherwise, I’d only have one new post a month.
This ended up being a self-reflection than a statement or factual article, and seeing it now it could be edited as a guide on how to stop being too self critical, but I think it’s better as a personal story. For anyone reading this, maybe you too have felt the same way? How many times has your self critic stopped you from doing what you’d love to do? Don’t judge your own worth compared to others, and don’t be afraid to settle with something “unfinished” or “incomplete” because otherwise you could go on forever finding more mistakes or trying to make things better. Just settle with what is.